Carol Christensen

carol christensen | LIVING FAITH

After exploring other churches, Carol joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1974. She is a past president of Interfaith of Topeka, active in community groups, a mother of eight and a grandmother of three.

Getting to Know Them

By carol christensen
February 5, 2010

Last week I wrote about the value of learning about our ancestors and other relatives. As promised, this week I'm writing about how to start finding out who they are and how to begin "getting to know them."

Here are some basic steps to get you started:

1. Begin with what you already know about your family.
• Write down the names of family members, present and past, and what you know about them: e.g. their exact or approximate birth, marriage, and death dates; names of spouses, children, and parents; occupations, places where they lived, etc. Start with living family members, and then go back as far as you can.
• Jot down stories that you remember family members — particularly parents and grandparents — telling about their own lives and the lives of other relatives.
• Gather any photos, certificates, newspaper clippings, or other materials you may have at home about your family. If you know who the people are in unlabeled photos, write their names on the back of the photos. (Be sure to use special photo-marking pencils, which won't harm the photos.)
• Gather any contact information you may have about living family members (so you can move to Step 2).

2. Find out what your family members know about your family.
• Your parents and grandparents, if still alive, can be a great source of information. Don't forget to talk also to siblings, aunts and uncles, great-aunts and great-uncles, and cousins. (Please don't wait too long before talking to older relatives!) Though you may communicate via letter, phone, or email, nothing beats an in-person visit, if at all possible!
• Ask your family members for any information they may have about your common ancestors and relatives. Does anyone have an old family Bible that contains birth, marriage, and death information? Do they have birth, baptismal, death, or marriage certificates or information for themselves and other family members? What about letters, journals, or other materials by or about your family members?
• Do they have any family photos that could be copied and shared? Are they able to name the unidentified people in your family photos?
• What memories or stories do they have about your common relatives? What kind of people were they? (Though it's important to take good notes during these interviews, it would be very valuable also to record these interviews on a tape or video voice recorder or camcorder.)
• Do they know other family members who might have information on your relatives and know how to contact them?

3. Learn how to do basic genealogical research.
• Since genealogy is one of the most popular hobbies, low-cost or no-cost genealogy classes are often offered by different groups and organizations in local communities. In the Topeka area, classes or lectures on family history are offered periodically by the Topeka Genealogical Society, the Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library, the Topeka Parks and Recreation Department, and the LDS Family History Center.
• You can take online lessons on family history research. I particularly recommend the lessons and resource materials that are on www.familysearch.org. (I realize that my objectivity may be questioned, since the website is operated by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I am LDS! But, truly, the site is excellent and is well-regarded by genealogists!) That website offers a series of family history lessons on such topics as using the Internet for genealogical research, conducting family history interviews, and writing personal and family histories. It has video classes (with class outlines!) about researching ancestors from the United States, England, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Mexico, and Russia. It also gives information on how to trace African American, Hispanic, and Jewish ancestors.
• You can also read books--including ones for "dummies" and "idiots"!--about how to begin tracking down your ancestors.

4. Begin researching your family!
• Local public libraries and genealogical societies often have a wealth of family history information in books, on microfilm, and online: vital records, census records, local newspapers, county histories, etc. In addition, meetinghouses of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints often have a Family History Center, which is free and open to the public. Such centers offer online genealogical searching (including databases that normally would require a subscription) and the opportunity to borrow and view materials from the LDS Family History Library in Salt Lake City, the largest genealogical repository in the world. In the Topeka area, excellent genealogical resources can be found in the Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library, the Topeka Genealogical Society Library, and the LDS Family History Center. Since Topeka is the state capital, we are also fortunate to have here the Kansas State Historical Society, which, though it specializes in Kansas materials, also has many materials about other states as well.
• A great deal of genealogical information is available now online and can be searched from your home. Most of the databases are free, but some require a subscription fee. Though there are many helpful websites, three to start with are www.familysearch.org (the LDS Church's family history website, which includes information on millions of individuals; family pedigrees, and the catalog of the Family History Library in Salt Lake City) , www.cyndislist.com (an index to most genealogy websites), and www.ancestry.com (the largest online genealogy repository. Though a subscription is needed to access most of its best features, you can use a "library version" of the website for free in some libraries, including the Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library and the Kansas State Historical Society.)

5. Pray and be open to "help from above"!
• Prayer is not usually mentioned in guides to doing family history research, but it should be! True, there is a lot of information available now about people who have lived in the past, and an organized, diligent family history sleuth can uncover much of it by his or her own efforts alone. But roadblocks often arise in the process of trying to find information about some ancestors. From personal experience, I know that prayer has helped me be more careful and inspired when searching for information about elusive relatives — and has helped me find many of them! Prayer has also opened doors in other ways for me to get the genealogical information I sought.
• Family history researchers sometimes talk about "serendipity in genealogy": seemingly "random coincidences" in which people have been in the right place at the right time or have had other unexpected experiences that have enabled them to obtain critical information about their family or meet distant relatives. (Search online for "serendipity in genealogy" and see all the references that pop up!) I view those unexpected family history experiences and finds, not as random coincidences, but, rather, as miracles that allow people to make what one family history website calls "genealogical discoveries with a little help from above." (http://www.genealogytoday.com/family/stories/serendipity.html)

6. Record and organize your information.
• You should use pedigree charts to show your direct-line ancestors and use family group sheets to record information about individual families. These forms are often available at local libraries that have genealogical research materials. You can also find forms online that you can print.
• On your forms, be sure to include the source of each piece of information about your family members.
• Many people like to computerize their family history information. Though there are a number of genealogical software programs on the market today, www.familysearch.org offers free software (PAF — Personal Ancestral File), which has many valuable features and is compatible with most commercial family history software products, should you later decide to use one of them.

7. Share the information you gather with other family members.
• Share your genealogical finds with family members as you go along. Newly discovered stories, photos, newspaper clippings, wills, census records, and documents with a family member's signature on it often fascinate other family members and may increase their interest in their family's history.
• Compile the information that you've found about one family, family line, or ancestor into a book or onto a CD and make copies available to other family members. You could also put the information on a family website.

Through my family history research, I've been excited to learn that I am a descendant of one of the colonial governors of Connecticut, one of the founders of Yale University, a Nantucket (Massachusetts) whaler, a man who helped with the Underground Railroad, and a man who stayed in the same Deadwood, South Dakota, hotel when Buffalo Bill Cody did.

I've also come to appreciate and feel a closeness and love for ancestors whose lives were seemingly less "flashy" but, nonethless, worthy of admiration: e.g. women who raised large familes and often died relatively young; humble Swedish farmers; and Huguenots, Quakers, and Puritans who left their homes in Europe to sail to America, where they could have the freedom to worship God as they desired. I felt some of the pain that a middle-aged ancestor undoubtedly had when he learned that his son had been killed during the Civil War: not only was his son a very young man when he died, but he was also serving as a substitute for his father, who had been drafted into the North's army but was unable to serve. I was touched to find and read a short history written by one of my great-great aunts about her parents, my great-great-grandparents. In it she wrote that her father — my ancestor — worked hard throughout his life and owed "no man nothing" when he died.

Though your ancestors won't be identical to mine (unless you're my brother!), similar fascinating finds about your ancestors await you when you search them out and begin "getting to know them."

NEXT WEEK: I'll write about different ways that you can leave a record of your own life for your family members.

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Gone but (Hopefully) Not Forgotten

By carol christensen
January 29, 2010

I was fascinated to hear Keith Plessy and Phoebe Ferguson talk this past Sunday afternoon about Plessy v. Ferguson, the 1896 U.S. Supreme Court case that made racial segregation legal in the United States for almost 60 years. I was struck by the appropriateness of the venue: Topeka’s Brown v. Board of Education National Historic Site, which is named for the U.S. Supreme Court case that overturned the Plessy verdict. But what interested—and excited me—the most, though, was that Keith and Phoebe knew so much about their relatives, who were the namesakes of that famous case!

Phoebe Ferguson said that she learned in 2002 that one of her great-great-grandfathers was John Howard Ferguson, the New Orleans judge who ruled against Homer Plessy in the initial case and then became the defendant in the case that was appealed to higher courts. Keith Plessy said he heard about his connection to Homer Plessy at a 1996 family reunion: one of Keith’s great-grandfathers was a cousin of Homer Plessy. After they heard about their connections to those relatives, both Phoebe and Keith learned a lot about them. Both said that the information they learned about their relatives—and the steps they took to gain that knowledge—had a huge impact for good on their lives.

Do you know anything about your great-great-grandparents? (I wouldn’t expect many people to know about the cousin of a great-grandparent, so I won’t even ask!) What about your own great-grandparents? Do you know their names, where they lived, and anything else about their lives? How much do you know about your grandparents? Your parents? Do you want to know about these people? Should you know about them?

There are many good reasons for each of us to learn about our family history and many benefits to be gained from doing so. Here are some of them:

• Knowledge about our family history can satisfy curiosity about “our” past.

Some people wonder if they had an ancestor who came to North America on the Mayflower—or if some of their ancestors welcomed the Pilgrims here! Were any ancestors persecuted for their religious faith? Were any of them the persecutors?! Were any of them slaves or indentured servants? Did any ancestors fight in the Revolutionary War or in the Civil War? Were any ancestors famous—or infamous? Finding out about our ancestors can help us answer intriguing questions we may have had about our family’s past.

• Knowledge about our family history can make history come alive.

Now that they can now attach names and faces of relatives to the civil rights struggle of the late-19th century, Keith Plessy and Phoebe Ferguson will never look at that struggle and time period as detached, disinterested observers. Their family members lived through those events, and, because of Keith and Phoebe’s knowledge of that involvement, they said that history now has great relevancy and life to them. Even if our ancestors weren’t famous (and, frankly, most weren’t—but they’re still worth learning about!), knowing that they lived during different historical times or lived through specific events can still make the history of those times come alive for us. Plus, knowing what was going on when our ancestors were alive can help us see our relatives as real people who were affected by those events.

• Knowledge about our family history can help us understand ourselves better and why we are the people we are.

People often like to know why they look the way they do, why they may have certain talents or personality traits, and why they were taught the values and traditions they were. It’s fascinating to look at old photos and see ancestors who have some of the same physical characteristics that we do! It’s also exciting to hear stories or find documents that indicate what kind of people our ancestors were: what their talents, interests, personalities, and values were. Often we can see connections between ourselves and those who went before us and can come to understand ourselves better and why, in part, we are who we are.

• Knowledge about our family history can inspire us to do and be our best.

I am inspired to be courageous and to tackle new, unfamiliar challenges when I think of my Swedish great-grandmother, who came to the United States in the 1890’s with her two small sons and her brother—and none of them spoke English. I am determined to persevere during hard times when I think about a great-great-grandmother, who was widowed in the mid-1840’s when she was in her 40’s and had a large family. The sacrifices and faithfulness of my husband’s great-grandparents, who were European converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, inspire our family to stay true to our faith. I suspect that none of us has only “saints” in our family pedigree. But, undoubtedly, we each have ancestors who can become special, positive role models--even heroes—to motivate us to be our best. We just have to learn about them first!

• Learning about our family history can help us deepen family relationships and connect with family members and other people who can both share information with us and become friends.

I became even closer to my grandmother and came to love her even more when I interviewed her and prepared a book about her life. I became better acquainted with different aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant cousins as I sought family history information from them and shared with them what I knew about the family. In his presentation, Keith Plessy said that he became very close friends with a very distant cousin he met while seeking to find out more about his Plessy line. After learning more about their individual families, Keith Plessy and Phoebe Ferguson—whose relatives were on the opposite side of the famous court case—have not only become friends, but have also set up together a new foundation that is dedicated to preserving and teaching the history of the civil rights movement in the United States. (Their foundation, which is still in its infancy, also plans to have a project that will encourage schoolchildren to interview their grandparents and learn about their elders’ impact on history! See http://bit.ly/aAPc9o)

• Some people learn about their ancestry in order to know their family health history.

Such histories allow family members to know about family health trends and risks so they can take preventative measures and watch for symptoms of diseases that run in the family.

• Latter-day Saints, like myself, are also motivated (in fact, are primarily motivated) to research our family history by a belief that family bonds can extend into eternity.

Believing that families can be together forever, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seek to identify and learn about our ancestors and other family members so we can be linked together as families eternally.

Even if you don’t believe that family ties can last after death, there are many other good reasons, as mentioned above, to learn about one’s family history—and to share that information with other family members! Though they may be "gone," it is personally rewarding and very valuable to make sure that our ancestors and other relatives are not forgotten.

NEXT WEEK: I’ll focus on some ways to begin learning about family history and to share it with other family members.

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Haiti on Our Minds — and Hearts

By carol christensen
January 23, 2010

They're home! They're home! Karen and Adam Buhler, my daughter and son-in-law who had been in Haiti during the 7.0 magnitude earthquake on January 12, returned home to Kansas this past Monday (January 18) alive and well! (Information about their Haiti experiences can be found in their very detailed and touching blog: www.sheisahappypeople.blogspot.com. I gave an overview of their earthquake-related experiences and aftermath in my Holy Ground blog last week.)

Though they were overjoyed to return to the United States and be reunited with their family members and friends, Karen and Adam said that they cried when they left Haiti. In an interview with the LDS Church News, Adam explained, "My wife and I were intact. We were together. We were uninjured. We had our belongings. We were relatively healthy. We had food and water and security. We had it easy. It was so hard to see so many people suffering." (http://tinyurl.com/yfuwz3r)

Karen and Adam feel that part of them is still in Haiti. Rather than see the earthquake as a "sign" to stay away from that devastated country, Karen and Adam see it — and, especially, the many miracles they experienced before, during, and after the earthquake — as unmistakable indications that they need to remain very connected to and involved in that country for years to come.

They wrote in their blog:

Through trials, we've never really asked ourselves, "Why me?" but we are definitely asking ourselves "Why us?!" as we have experienced so many miracles and so much protection and safety when so many others are suffering. It's hard. We're just hoping to do as much as we can to help as many people as we can.

Overwhelmed with gratitude for their blessings and with great love for the Haitian people, Karen and Adam feel they have a longterm obligation and responsibility to help the people of Haiti. Now that they're back in Lawrence, these KU students have already begun working to raise money to rebuild the Pazapa Center for Handicapped Children, where Karen volunteered when they were in Jacmel, Haiti. Quoting Richard L. Evans (an LDS apostle who for many years gave the "spoken word" part of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's weekly radio program, "Music and the Spoken Word"), Karen explains, “We can’t do everything for everyone everywhere, but we can do something for someone somewhere."

Like most people, I too have been very moved by the many news stories, photos, and films of the devastation and immense human suffering wreaked by the recent earthquake in Haiti. The experiences, blessings, and miracles that Karen and Adam had there have given me an especially strong, personal connection to that country and its people. As I ponder what my short-term and long-term response should be to my brothers and sisters in Haiti, I find myself reflecting on two scripture verses, the words of a hymn, and a story from LDS Church history:

"[F]reely ye have received, freely give." (Matthew 10:8)

"[U]nto whomsoever much is given of him shall be much required." (Luke 12:48)

"Because I have been given much, I too must give." ("Because I Have Been Given Much," LDS Hymns, #219)

[Note: The following story from LDS Church history took place around 1840 and involved Joseph Smith, the organizer and first prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.]

A group of men were talking with the Prophet Joseph Smith one day when news arrived that the house of a poor brother who lived some distance from town was burned down. Everyone expressed sorrow for what had happened. The Prophet listened for a moment, then put his hand in his pocket, took out five dollars and said, "I feel sorry for this brother to the amount of five dollars; how much do you all feel sorry?” (H. David Burton, "Tender Hearts and Helping Hands," http://tinyurl.com/yjtenx8) [Note: An economist calculated that $5 in 1840 would be worth about $130 today.]

Inspired by those scriptures and that song and story — and, of course, by Karen and Adam's Haiti experiences and good examples — I think about what I can do to help Haiti and ask myself:

• What blessings have I been given?
• How grateful am I for them?
• How sorry--in dollars and time--do I feel for my brothers and sisters in Haiti?
• How long am I willing to help the people there?

I think these questions are good ones for all of us to ask ourselves — and to act on — now, when we have Haiti on our minds — and hearts.

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To (& from) Haiti with Love & Faith

By carol christensen
January 16, 2010

My 25-year old daughter and her husband, Karen and Adam Buhler, were in Haiti this past week when the 7.0 magnitude earthquake wreaked great death and destruction in that already-suffering country. Humbly and gratefully, I can report that they are safe and arrived in Florida on Friday night (January 15) and will return to Kansas soon. Love and faith brought them to Haiti. Love and faith helped to bring them back alive, safe, and well.

Many people may wonder why they were in Haiti, since it isn't a Caribbean nation that most other college students want to visit on their breaks.

Adam came to love the humble Haitian people when he was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 2005 to 2007. He had been called to serve in Haiti and learned the Creole language so he could speak with the people there. But, because of political unrest in the country then, he wasn't allowed to serve in Haiti. Instead, he worked as a missionary with Haitians in Florida and the Bahamas. He loved the Haitian people and knew firsthand of the goodness — and poverty — of so many of them. Now a KU student and photographer, Adam wanted to travel to Haiti sometime after his mission and work on a photographic project to make more people aware of the stark social contrasts in Haiti.

Since Karen is working on a masters degree in special education, she wanted to volunteer in a school in Haiti for children with special needs. Both Karen and Adam saw this trip as the first of many they would take to try to help the Haitians. They knew that the country still wasn't totally stable and safe, but they prayed and felt a spiritual confirmation that the time was right for them to go to Haiti. Though they felt peaceful about going, they still asked family members and friends to pray for them throughout their trip. (After the quake, I discovered the U.S. State Department's pre-quake travel warning that advised Americans against going to Haiti and spelled out many quite compelling reasons not to go. [Of course, there was no mention of the possibility of an earthquake!] No wonder Karen and Adam wanted our prayers so much during their trip!)

They had been in Haiti one full week when the powerful earthquake hit late in the afternoon of Tuesday, January 12. I learned about the quake about 5:30 p.m. (Topeka time), thanks to my son, David, who had seen the breaking online news report soon after it appeared and called me. My immediate reaction was to call other family members right away and ask them to pray--and to keep praying--for Karen, Adam, and the other people in Haiti. We have a fairly large family; so there have been many heartfelt prayers offered on behalf of all of them in the past few days.

We had to live with uncertainty about Karen and Adam's situation for 14 hours. Their itinerary indicated that they would be in Jacmel on January 12. Jacmel is a city of about 40,000 people, located about 30 miles southwest of Port-au-Prince, the capital and largest city of the country. Though most of the news reports about the earthquake focused on Port-au-Prince, I was able to find some online stories about the quake's effect on Jacmel too. Those reports of widespread damage, landslides, and deaths were not what I wanted to read!

Though I felt great concern for Karen and Adam, I was surprised that I didn't feel worried. In fact, after learning about the earthquake, I felt an unexpected sense of peace, even as I pondered different possible scenarios of what might have happened to them. I could envision Adam helping to rescue victims and Karen ministering to their wounds and grieving hearts. I could see them surviving the quake but then spending their first post-quake night in utter darkness and rubble.

Some bleaker scenarios came to mind, too, but I didn't dwell on them. (I will say, though, that the thought did cross my mind, "Last week I felt impressed to write a blog post on 'Blessed are they that mourn.' Was this to prepare me for something in the near future?") I knew that Karen and Adam are full of faith, love, virtue, and a desire to serve others. I knew that Heavenly Father could protect them. Yet I also know that, for reasons we don't always understand, horrible things sometimes happen to very good people.

What happened to Karen and Adam during the earthquake, and when would we know? Those questions were on the minds of family members and friends for 14 hours. I was very grateful to have then the "peace of God, which passeth understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and to sense that Karen and Adam were in Heavenly Father's hands and that, whatever happened, they would ultimately be blessed and safe. (I obviously, though, wanted them to be alive and well!)

About 7:45 a.m. the next (Wednesday) morning, I received a call from Adam! Using a borrowed satellite phone, he only had about a minute to talk but let me know that they were alive and unhurt! He gave me a few details: their hotel had withstood the shaking. A U.S. embassy car was driving on the street in front of their hotel when they were outside after the quake and took them to the U.N. compound. I was able to say, "We love you. Please tell Karen we love her too!" before the connection broke.

Though I didn't have many details (I didn't even have presence of mind to ask what city they were in!), I was so thankful for that short phone call and especially thankful that they were both alive and safe! Thank you, Heavenly Father!

Calls and emails alerted family and friends about this wonderful news, and the prayers kept on and on. Adam's parents (who live in Lawrence and are friends of ours) and other of his family members and friends were also praying fervently for his and Karen's safe return. Now we all "just" needed to figure out how to get Karen and Adam home--and keep praying for them and the Haitians and aid workers too.

Adam called again the next (Thursday) morning on a U.N. satellite phone, and we talked for about five minutes this time. I got more details about the ways they'd been blessed and protected and about what had happened before, during, and after the earthquake.

Karen had spent that Tuesday morning and afternoon in the special education school, then returned mid-afternoon to their budget-priced guesthouse. Tired, Karen took a nap, and Adam took some photos from a second floor balcony and hallway. They were in the guesthouse when the earthquake hit. Surprisingly, but happily, the building survived the quake — unlike most other buildings, even all the pricier hotels, in the city.

They went into the street for about an hour after the initial quake, then back shortly into the guesthouse, then back into the street again. (Probably fearful that aftershocks would damage the building and hurt patrons, the owner didn't want people back in the building.) As night began to fall, many survivors headed to the beach to get away from falling buildings and all the debris. Karen and Adam waited outside their building for the guesthouse owner to come out and lead them to the beach. While they waited, a U.S. Embassy car drove by. The driver saw them and, thinking they might be Americans, stopped and asked to see their passports. Fortunately, they had their passports; so the embassy car took them to a nearby United Nations peacekeepers' compound. Though it wasn't comfortable for them (especially for Karen, who is 18 weeks pregnant) to sleep outside that night on a thin mat on the compound's parking lot, Karen and Adam were extremely thankful to be there. They didn't know how they were going to get back to the United States, but at least they were alive and safe.

Though faith is critical, it is important to couple faith with actions, if possible. (See James 2:20) So, in addition to praying, Karen and Adam explored their limited options for getting to the United States. Back in the U.S.A, members of Adam's family and our family worked together and contacted the State Department, a U.S. representative, leaders of some churches with Haitian contacts, and others for assistance. Though people were very willing to help, no definite plan was in place so Karen and Adam could leave Haiti and get back to the United States.

On Thursday night, the U.N. compound's Internet connection was reestablished, and Karen and Adam were able to send emails, update their Haiti blog (which I highly recommend: www.sheisahappypeople.blogspot.com), and visit with some family members via Skype. Karen and Adam learned that Jacmel, outside the U.N. compound, was being called a "war zone," with riots and people fighting for emergency provisions. Though family members shared with them some promising "exit strategies," still, no definite plan was in place for them to leave.

On Friday morning we received a very surprising and welcome email from them: they were leaving right away via helicopter to the Dominican Republic, where they hoped to catch a plane flight to the United States! This opportunity to leave Haiti came out of the blue, just as the helicopter did! Karen explained later that some fellow refugees from Denmark had chartered a helicopter to take themselves to the airport in Santo Domingo, D.R. (These people were living--not just visiting--in Haiti when the earthquake struck and lost their home and belongings in the quake.) When there wasn't enough room in the copter for all four of the Danes to fly out, they let Karen and Adam go in their place! Karen and Adam and family members were overwhelmed with their new Danish friends' love, generosity, and sacrifice!

From Santo Domingo, Karen and Adam flew Friday night to Florida (after buying the last seats on the flight — and at standby rates too). They're planning to stay in Florida--where Adam served as a missionary — for a couple of days to unwind and then return to Kansas on Monday. Needless to say, we are all extremely thankful that they are back in this country safely!

When Karen and Adam were able to get the Internet in the U.N. compound on Thursday night, Karen wrote in an email, "The prayers of so many have helped us the entire trip, but especially [in regards to the earthquake]."

Though they are very thankful for the ways in which they had been blessed, Karen wrote that they were extremely concerned for the welfare of the Haitian people, some of whom had become dear friends in the short time they had been in Haiti:
"We are so grateful for the many prayers for us and our safety but we hope that everyone will pray for the people of Haiti....The Haitians are staying here and will have to start the slow process of rebuilding. I heard someone say that this will set Haiti back 10 years, and I believe it. Maybe more."

At the beginning of this blog, I said that love and faith brought Karen and Adam to Haiti and helped to bring them back alive and safe. Haiti desperately needs the ongoing love and faith of the people of the world. (It's very gratifying to hear about the outpouring of money and aid already.) Karen and Adam are already talking about when they can go back to Haiti. As the new website www.prayforhaiti.net says, "A few of us can volunteer. Many of us can give our resources. But all of us can pray." Through prayers, monetary donations, and, perhaps, even direct service, each of us can give "to Haiti with love and faith."

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“Blessed Are They that Mourn….”

By carol christensen
January 8, 2010

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught—and promised—“Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) This scripture and many others related to death and peace have been on my mind this past week with the recent death and funeral of a good friend I’ve known for 30 years.

Some of those scriptures—and others--were used during the very comforting and uplifting funeral service for my friend. In addition, three other writings that were shared during the service—a poem, a short prose piece, and the lyrics to a hymn—touched me deeply, resonated with truth, and gave me additional comfort and insight about death and Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. Knowing that each of us will experience the death of loved ones—and will die too some time—I wanted to share these three writings that, though not found in the scriptures, nonetheless reflect scriptural truths and do so in a particularly tender, insightful, and comforting way.

The first piece is a poem written by Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008), who served as president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995-2008 and was considered by Church members to be a prophet. I like the poem’s positive, though somewhat general, statements about what follows death and about the role of Jesus Christ in making those blessings possible. I also like the way it pleads for God’s help and peace during times of mourning and ends with an affirmation of faith.

What Is This Thing Called Death?

What is this thing called death
This quiet passing in the night?
‘Tis not the end but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.

O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change,
With recompense for vict’ry won.
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.

The second very comforting and insightful writing is a short prose piece (which is sometimes formatted as a poem) entitled “Gone from My Sight.” Written by Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933), an author, educator, and Presbyterian clergyman, this writing gives a fresh and reassuring perspective on death. I also like the way it points out that other people at another “port” will be excited and joyful to see the arrival of our faithful, righteous loved ones who have died.

Gone from My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

The lyrics to a hymn, “Be Still, My Soul” (LDS Hymns, #124), are the last comforting, non-scriptural writing that I wanted to share from the funeral. Originally written (undoubtedly in German!) by Katharina von Schlegel (b. 1697), the words were translated into English by Jane Borthwick (1813-1897). I first became acquainted with this hymn in 1989, when my mother was dying from cancer. The words, so full of scriptural allusions and reminders of God’s love and Christ’s miracles and promise of peace (see John 14:27), brought peace to my soul then and still does so during difficult times. I especially like the last line, which not only reflects the hopes of many people, but also harmonizes with the unique Latter-day Saint teaching that families can be together forever.

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone;
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

As one of the speakers at my friend’s funeral said, “The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life—and that’s not part of God’s plan.” In our love-inspired sorrow and mourning, as we turn to God, seek His peace, and gain a clear perspective on death—from the scriptures and other writings that reflect scriptural teachings, such as the ones shared above—we can and will be comforted.

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From Blob of Clay to Masterpiece

By carol christensen
December 31, 2009

With the coming of a new year, I've been thinking about New Years resolutions--and blobs of clay!

Several years ago I was asked to speak to the young women at church about goal-setting. (LDS young women, ages 12-17, around the world have their own "Personal Progress" program, which focuses on goal-setting; service; education; and the development of faith, character, and talents.) In preparation for my presentation, I did an experiment, which I hoped would demonstrate the importance of setting and working on worthwhile personal goals.

About a week before my talk, I took three blobs of clay and shaped them very roughly into the form of people, then set them in different places in and around my home. One was set on a table in our house. One was placed in an empty--and closed--drawer of a file cabinet. Another was put outside.

The purpose of my experiment was to see what would happen to my very unartistic clay figures if I didn't touch them for a week. I fully expected at least one family member to play with the blobby clay figure that was inside the house on a table, but, surprisingly, it remained undiscovered and untouched. Predictably, though, the one in the file cabinet remained the same as it was when I "filed" it. I found that birds had pecked the clay figure that was outside.

During my presentation to the young women, I told them about my experiment, showed them the unartistic, blobby clay figures, and then compared our lives to blobs of clay. Each of us wants our life, like a blob of clay, to be sculpted into a masterpiece. But such works of art don't happen without proactive steps on our part. If we, like the blobby clay figures on the table or in the file cabinet, take no action to improve our lives, we--at best--will see no progress. At worst, like the clay figure that was outside, we may find that we will be shaped by others who probably don't share our vision of what we want our masterpiece to be.

I urged the girls to let Heavenly Father help them get a clear vision of what they each can and should become and of valuable personal goals they could and should undertake. After all, He is the "Master Potter": "But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." (Isaiah 64:8)

I also encouraged them to take the initiative in selecting many of their goals. (I don't think that Heavenly Father wants to micromanage our lives!) As the Lord says in a latter-day revelation:

"For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward." (Doctrine & Covenants 58:26-28)

At the end of my presentation to the young women, I gave each of the girls some clay. It was to be a reminder that, with help from Heavenly Father, they should set and work on goals that would help them shape their lives to become the masterpieces they were intended to be.

Though I don't have any clay for you, my dear readers, I still encourage all of us to see the masterpiece that Heavenly Father wants us each to become and then select and work on goals that, with His assistance, will help us grow, progress, and become more of the work of art we were meant to be. Though we can--and should--set and work on goals at any time during the year, the beginning of a new year is a great time to make resolutions to change and improve. What is the vision that you and Heavenly Father have for your life? What are some of your resolutions for this new year that will help you come closer to becoming that masterpiece?

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What Child Is This?

By carol christensen
December 24, 2009

One of my new favorite Christmas carols is "What Child Is This?" I love the traditional English tune but am drawn even more to its words, particularly the initial questions the song asks us to reflect on:

What child is this, who, laid to rest
On Mary's lap, is sleeping?
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?
(Lyrics by William Chatterton Dix)

Good questions! Yes, what child is this, who, though born in humble circumstances, attracted the attention of not only nearby shepherds, but also angels? What child is this, whose birth over 2000 years ago is remembered and celebrated by many millions of people around the world today?

"What child is this?" is a valuable question to ask ourselves about Jesus at this time of year--and at other times as well--and ties in closely with a question Jesus Himself asked, "What think ye of Christ?" (Matthew 22:42)

As a Latter-day Saint Christian, here, in part, is my answer to the question "What child is this?" (Though the question is short, my answer isn't! And even what I've written below doesn't cover all the major things I believe and know about Jesus! Some of the things, though, will just have to wait until later blogs!)

• Before His birth in Bethlehem--and even before the earth was created--Jesus had been chosen by Heavenly Father (God) to be the Savior and Redeemer of the world.

"...[Ye] know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things...; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you...." (1 Peter 1:18-20)

• Before His birth, Jesus was Jehovah of the Old Testament, who, under the direction of Heavenly Father, helped to create the earth and its inhabitants and spoke to the prophets.

"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...." (Genesis 1:26)

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made." (John 1:1-3)

"Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I AM." (John 8:58) (Note: the Hebrew name of Jehovah is translated into English as "I AM" and was a holy, rarely spoken name. By using the words He did in John 8:58, Jesus was declaring Himself to be Jehovah. As the next verse of scripture indicates, the people who heard Him understood Christ's declaration and regarded it as blasphemy, which was punishable by stoning: "Then took they up stones to cast at him....")

"Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; And did all eat the same spiritual meat; And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ." (1 Corinthians 10:1-4)

• Jesus's mortal birth and saving mission were foretold and revealed through prophets and anticipated by believers for millenia.

"And [John the Baptist's] father Zacharias was filled with the Holy Ghost, and prophesied, saying, Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for he hath visited and redeemed his people, And hath raised up an horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David; As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began...." (Luke 1:67-70)

"And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, [Jesus] expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself....And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me." (Luke 24:27,44)

"[Jesus said,] Your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was glad." (John 8:56)

(To find many individual, specific prophecies about Jesus, see http://bit.ly/7GMKqC)

• Jesus is literally the son of Heavenly Father, who is immortal, and of Mary, who was mortal.

"And the angel answered and said unto [Mary], The Holy Ghost shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God." (Luke 1:35)

[Following Jesus's baptism by John the Baptist,] "there came a voice from heaven, saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." (Mark 1:11)

[On the Mount of Transfiguration,] "behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him." (Matthew 17:5)

• Jesus's birth was accompanied by many miraculous events: e.g. an emperor's timely edict that required His mother, Mary, to be in the town of Bethlehem--the prophesied place where the Savior was to be born--when it was time for His birth; angelic announcements of His birth to Mary, Joseph (his earthly stepfather), Zacharias (the father of his cousin, John the Baptist), and nearby shepherds; and a new star in the sky that enabled wise men from the east to find Him.

See Matthew 1:18 - 2:12 and Luke 1 and 2.

• The child Jesus would become a man who taught His Father's truths with authority.

[Jesus said,] "I speak to the world those things which I have heard of him. They understood not that he spake to them of the Father....I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things." (John 8:26-28)

"And they were astonished at [Jesus's] doctrine: for he taught them as one that had authority, and not as the scribes." (Mark 1:22)

• The child Jesus would become a man who went about doing good and using the power He had been given by God, His Father, to bless others: e.g. befriending the outcasts, healing the sick, raising the dead, miraculously feeding the hungry, stilling storms.

"...God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him." (Acts 10:38)

'But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!" (Matthew 8:27)

• The child Jesus would grow up and be tempted and suffer all types of afflictions common to mortality, yet never sin.

"...[Jesus] was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

• The child Jesus would become the perfect example of what to do, say, and be.

[Jesus said,] "[T]he works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do....Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am." (The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, 3 Nephi 27:21,27)

• The child Jesus would become the man who organized a Church and conferred authority to leaders who would do His work both during His earthly ministry and afterwards.

"Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you...." (John 15:16)

"And [Jesus] ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach, and to have power to heal sicknesses...." (Mark 3:14-15)

"After these things the Lord [Jesus] appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come." (Luke 10:1)

"And [Christ] gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ...." (Ephesians 4:11-13)

• Most importantly, the child Jesus would become the Savior and Redeemer of the world. His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross and His crucifixion, death, and resurrection would bestow three magnificent gifts that only He could provide for all people who have lived, live now, or will live.

1. As the Only Begotten Son of His immortal Father (God), Jesus did not have to die. But, as the son of Mary, a mortal woman, He could die. Because He loves all people and wanted to fulfill His Father's plan to bless us, He voluntarily suffered death and then was resurrected in order to give all people the free gift of resurrection.

"Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again." (John 10:17-18)

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive." (1 Corinthians 15:22)

2. As the only sinless person who ever lived, only Jesus could--and did--suffer and atone for our sins. His suffering in Gethsemane and on the cross brings forgiveness of sin and the opportunity to live with Heavenly Father after resurrection to everyone who has faith in Christ, repents of his or her sins, is baptized, receives the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endures to the end.

"And [Jesus] was withdrawn from them [in Gethsemane] about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." (Luke 22:41-44)

"...[T]hrough [Christ] is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses." (Acts 13:38-39)

"Now when they heard [Peter's testimony of Jesus Christ], they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? Then Peter said unto them, repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." (Acts 2:37-38)

[Jesus said,] "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." (Matthew 24:13)

3. By suffering and experiencing in His life on earth--including in the Garden of Gethsemane--the types of temptations, pains, trials, despair, and weaknesses that are common in mortality, Jesus learned how to understand and help us individually when we go through such experiences in our own lives.

"Wherefore in all things it behoved [Jesus] to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted." (Hebrews 2:17-18)

"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:15-16)

"And [Jesus] shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people....[A]nd he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, Alma 7:11-12)

So then, what child is this whose birth is celebrated at Christmas? The carol "What Child Is This?" gives some additional thoughts about the child Jesus and suggests what our response to Him should be:

This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing:
Haste, haste to bring him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary!

The King of kings, salvation brings,
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.

May you and yours have a very joyous Christmas! And may you also make time to reflect on "What child is this?" whose birth is remembered and celebrated during this Christmas season.

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A Gift for Jesus: WWJW?

By carol christensen
December 18, 2009

Imagine being invited to a birthday celebration at which most people visit just with each other, chow down lots of rich food, give gifts to each other--but not to the person having the birthday--and basically ignore the honoree. The event sounds strange, and invitees' behavior seems quite thoughtless, if not rude. But does it seem much different from the way that Christ's birth is often celebrated today?

Last week I blogged about keeping the focus on Christ at Christmas: in other words, not ignoring Jesus, whose birthday we celebrate at this time of year, but, rather, keeping Him at the forefront of our celebration. Since people often give gifts to someone having a birthday, I suggested that we could also give a gift to the Savior at Christmas.

WWJW? Though those initials may not become a new fad on wristbands and bumper stickers, I think that the question they abbreviate is a good one to ask at Christmastime: What Would Jesus Want--as a birthday present from us, that is?

The scriptures give several ideas of gifts that Jesus would like to receive from us. Here are some of those gift ideas:

1. Jesus wants us to reach out in service to people who are poor, needy, sick, lonely, new, or ostracized--at Christmas and year-round.

For I was an hungred and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:35-40)

In December, such reaching out to people in need might be through donating money to charity, adopting a family at Christmas, giving a Christmas gift to someone going through some hard times, visiting someone who is sick or housebound, inviting someone who would otherwise be alone to a Christmas gathering, etc.

A promise--with a definite plan--to serve some of "the least of these [His] brethren" during the upcoming year could also be a gift of service to give the Savior. Since I've learned from past experience that it's easy to forget unwritten good intentions, I'm a big proponent now of writing promises and plans down and reminding ourselves about them throughout the year. Making a "gift-of-self certificate" and posting it as a visible reminder can also help us make sure our promised gifts of service become reality during the coming year.

2. Jesus wants us to learn more about Him.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

We can study about Christ in the scriptures during December and commit to doing so year-round. This gift to the Savior ties in nicely with the next one, since scripture study helps us better know, understand, and remember what Jesus taught and did.

3. Jesus wants us to follow the teachings that He taught and the example that He set.

If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)

If any man serve me, let him follow me....(John 12:26)

Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am. (Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, 3 Nephi 27:27)

Following all of the teachings that Jesus taught and modeling our lives completely after His sinless life are goals that may sound overwhelming and, therefore, may seem like unrealistic, impossible gifts to give the Savior. But, just as Jesus grew over time in "spirit" and "wisdom" (see Luke 2:40, 52), we also can and should try to make paced progress in different areas of our lives. By breaking down huge goals into smaller, more manageable ones, we can be more successful in making positive changes in our lives and in better following the teachings and example of Jesus.

Regarding gifts for Jesus at Christmas, I know of some families in which members select one or more large faults, bad habits, or weaknesses that they want to work on and correct during the upcoming year. They write down the changes they want to make, include them in a Christmas card addressed to Jesus, and then make reminders for themselves so they will follow through during the year on their promised gift. The next December, they review what their past year's gift to Jesus was, then, as their new Christmas offering to the Savior, choose other faults, bad habits, or weaknesses and commit to tackle them during the upcoming year.

Of course, the process of repenting and trying to improve can and should be year-round. But Christmas is a very good time to begin working on additional ways in which we can become more Christlike and can improve our relationships with Heavenly Father, our family members, and other people.

Whether it's giving more service to others, learning more about Jesus, or becoming a better follower of Him--these and other possible gifts to Jesus at Christmas will not only give Jesus what He would like, but will also bring us great blessings too. We all know the wonderful feeling of joy we receive when we give sincere, loving acts of service. In Matthew 11:29 (quoted above), Jesus promised that learning about Him would bring "rest to [our] souls." And eradicating faults and bad habits and turning weaknesses into strengths makes us happier people who can accomplish more for the Lord and who will receive even more blessings from Him.

In general, then, what are some gifts Jesus would want for Christmas? I think that loving deeds that will help other people and actions and commitments that will help us know Him better and become more Christlike and blessed are definitely on His selfless gift list.

WWJW from you this Christmas?

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Christmas...Starring Christ!

By carol christensen
December 11, 2009

A simple nativity scene now lights up our porch at night, and over 20 creches from different parts of the world decorate our front room. We may not have other Christmas decorations up yet. (We ran out of time on our family night earlier this week!) But our most important decorations — which remind us that "Jesus is the reason for the season" and let other people know how we feel about Christ and Christmas — are up. And that's good.

Given all the emphasis during December (and, sadly, in November too!) in U.S. popular culture on Santa, shopping, baking, rich foods, rocking songs about reindeer or winter, and parties, I often think I have a "counter-culture" approach to this important holiday. I don't mind Santa playing the role of an extra in Christmas: as we have for years, this year we will put up a simple Christmas tree and stockings and look forward to a little something from the man in red on Christmas morning. But Santa never upstages Jesus! We will give gifts to family members and other people, but the gift of God's Son to us will also be a central focus. Songs like "White Christmas" or "Winter Wonderland" may even occasionally be heard in our home, but carols about Baby Jesus are the songs that will usually be played or sung.

Though it's not easy to buck the culture, our family's goal at Christmas is to have Jesus be the star of our celebration. (We definitely don't want to give Him only a cameo appearance or keep Him backstage!) I will say that some years we've been better at keeping Jesus centerstage than other years. It's taken me a while, but I've finally realized that we have to be proactive in celebrating Christmas our way. If we don't script our Christmas ahead of time to be the way we want it to be, we will likely drift with the culture, and we will definitely miss opportunities to keep the spotlight on the Savior.

How can we as individuals and families keep Jesus front and center at Christmas? Here are some helpful things our family has done or plans to do. (As always, if any of you readers have additional suggestions, please leave a comment below or send me an email at goodneighbortks@gmail.com.)

1. Include visual reminders of Jesus in your Christmas decorations: e.g. a nativity set, pictures of Jesus and His birth, etc.

2. Talk about the Christ-related meanings of many Christmas symbols, e.g.
Gifts=gifts of the Wise Men to Baby Jesus, the Gift of God's Son to be our Savior
Red=Christ's blood that was shed for all mankind
Green=everlasting life, which Christ makes available
White=Christ's purity
Christmas tree=everlasting life and (because of its usually triangular shape) the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Stars=Star of Bethlehem and Jesus as a "star." (See Rev. 22:16).
Lights=Lights in the sky on the first Christmas; Jesus as the "light of the world." (John 8:12)

3. Throughout December, read in the scriptures about Jesus's birth, life, teachings, and prophecies about His birth.
The books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are obvious candidates for study. You can also take a topical approach, using indexes or concordances to find passages about Jesus. The following link will help you identify many, many verses in the Bible (as well as the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ) about the Savior: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/tg/j/contents. (After you scroll down the page to "Jesus Christ," you will find a wealth of scriptures about Jesus and be able to click and read verses of interest online.)

4. During December, read Christ-focused Christmas stories or visit Christ-centered websites.
I particularly recommend:
• Christ: the Real Gift of Christmas: http://www.lds.org/topic/christmas/
This website, which is intended for Christians of all denominations, includes the Christmas story as told in Luke 2, some Christmas videos and music, and information on Christmas traditions and resources.
• Jesus Christ, the Son of God: http://www.jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/
This website includes articles, pictures, and videos about Christ's life and teachings.

5. On Christmas Eve, read the Christmas story from Luke 2 — and maybe act it out as a family.

6. Listen to and sing primarily Christ-focused Christmas music at home and in the car.

7. Go Christmas caroling with family and/or friends and sing Christ-focused songs.
(We always end our caroling at each house, though, with "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"!)

8. In December, attend Christ-focused worship services; special Christmas events, such as living nativities and displays; and musical events in the community (and watch similar programs on television).
At this time of year, there are many uplifting, Christ-oriented Christmas services, programs, and events planned by different local churches and area colleges and universities. For Topeka-area residents, this website, www.holyground.topeka.net, and The Topeka Capital-Journal and its website, www.cjonline.com, are excellent sources of announcements about such events.

9. Count down the days to Christmas by using a Christ-focused advent calendar.

10. Send Christ-focused Christmas cards or Christmas letters that have a Jesus-related message.

11. Reflect on who Jesus was and is and what He means to you.
You could write your reflections in a journal and/or share them with family members and other people.

12. Reflect on "WWJW" — What Would Jesus Want (for Christmas)? — and give Him gifts that He would want at this time of year and year-round.

I won't say more about WWJW now, since it will be the topic of my blog entry for next week! I hope that you'll be thinking about WWJW too, though, and will come back next week!

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Keeping an Attitude of Gratitude

By carol christensen
December 4, 2009

Now that Thanksgiving, 2009, is over, does that mean that we're also done with thanksgiving until next November? It shouldn't! Reflecting on our blessings and giving thanks to Heavenly Father for them shouldn't be just a seasonal activity. We should have an attitude of gratitude year-round!

Many scriptures instruct us to give thanks to God every day. For instance:

"It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night...." (Psalms 92:1-2)

"In every thing give thanks...." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

"(L)ive in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which [God] doth bestow upon you." (The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, Alma 34:38)

"Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things." (Doctrine and Covenants 59:7)

How can we maintain an attitude of gratitude – the spirit of thanksgiving – every day, year-round? Here are some suggestions:

1. Continually reflect on your blessings.

Take time each day to think about the good things in your life, even during times when your "cup" may seem half-full – or less – or when other people's cups seem much fuller than your own. Focus on the blessings that you and people you care about have received.

I have a good friend who, despite ongoing health and financial problems, often tells me that she feels extremely blessed by Heavenly Father and then shares with me some of her many blessings. She exemplifies the words and spirit of an upbeat hymn that Latter-day Saints often sing:

"Count Your Blessings"
When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
(Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1985, #241)

2. Keep your eyes open so you can recognize the hand of God in your life.

Did you pray for something and receive it? Are there blessings you received that weren't the results of your efforts alone? Did something "randomly" or "coincidentally" happen to you that was just what you needed? In instances such as these, we can see Heavenly Father's loving involvement in our lives if we look with the keen eyes of faith – and we then have even more reasons to be thankful!

3. Write down some of the things for which you are thankful.

Several years ago, my husband told me about a man he had met who had – for about a decade – kept a "gratitude journal," in which he wrote down every day a different blessing for which he was grateful. (By my calculation, after ten years he'd written down about 3600 distinct blessings he'd recognized in his life!) The man said that keeping such a journal really opened his eyes up to his many blessings and to God's goodness and involvement in his life. After hearing about him, I started keeping such a journal also and found that this daily exercise in gratitude also made me more aware of the many good things in my life and of the many ways that Heavenly Father shows His love and helps me.

My daughter Karen kept a gratitude journal and said she disciplined herself to write three things for which she was grateful in it every day – even on "bad days." By getting into the habit of looking for the good things in each day, she said that she became a more grateful, positive person and "bad days" didn't seem so bad.

And, if these positive experiences with gratitude journals aren't convincing enough, I was recently told that TV icon Oprah keeps a gratitude journal and thinks it's one of the most valuable things she's ever done!

4. Make thanks-giving a regular part of every prayer--and, sometimes, the only reason for praying.

While it's important to recognize our blessings, we also need to express our thanks to Heavenly Father for them. The New Testament tells of Jesus healing ten lepers. All ten lepers joyfully recognized that they had been cleansed from their disease, but Jesus lamented that only one thanked Him and "glorified God" for that wonderful blessing. (See Luke 17:15-18.) All ten should have thanked Heavenly Father--and so should we for the good things in our lives.

Through sincere, thoughtful prayer, of course, we can give thanks to God. When we pray and request divine help for ourselves or other people (as most people probably do in their prayers), the Apostle Paul reminds us also to give thanks to God: "[I]n everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." (Philippians 4:6; italics added).

It is also valuable at times to offer prayers that are solely prayers of thanks--with no requests attached. Gordon B. Hinckley, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995-2008, encouraged people to “devote more prayers to expressions of gratitude and thanksgiving for blessings already received ... to humbly pray to our Heavenly Father thanking Him for specific blessings that are meaningful to us and ask nothing in return – a prayer of thanksgiving only.”

We also don't have to wait to offer prayers of thanksgiving until we have a long list of things for which we are grateful! Those prayers can be offered immediately when blessings occur or are recognized.

5. Bless the lives of other people.

Though I know that Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy the good things He has given us, I also feel strongly that our blessings – such as our talents, time, treasure, opportunities, relationships, education, health, etc. – aren't just for us: they are also stewardships that are to be used well and shared with others. (See Matthew 10:8 – "[F]reely ye have received, freely give"; and Luke 12:48: "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required ...") Consequently, another way we can show gratitude to Heavenly Father for the blessings He has given us is to use them to serve and bless others.

There are additional ways to express our thanks to God through our service to others. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, an apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:

"We can live in thanksgiving daily by opening our arms to those around us. When was the last time you told someone you love how much they mean to you? When was the last time you expressed your gratitude to someone who has always been there for you, someone who has sacrificed for you, someone whose heart has always been filled with hopes and dreams for you?

"When was the last time you unselfishly reached out to help another in need? Every time we cheer another’s heart, every time we ease another’s burden, every time we lift a weary hand, we show our gratitude to that God to whom we owe all that we have and all that we are."

By recognizing our blessings each day and expressing our gratitude to God for them through ours words and deeds, we can become happier and more positive and humble people and can uplift and help other people more. And, with a year-round attitude of gratitude, every day will be a thanksgiving day!

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